Recently I’ve been giving a lot of my time in helping a friend for his project. I volunteered because I was looking to get some experience in writing professionally so that maybe one day I could try and do freelance writing. I also volunteered because I wanted too, and get a small portfolio together.
At first I was really enjoying it…but then the enthusiasm slowly began to fade. My mind is going stale and repeating everything over and over again. I’ve still got around eighteen more pages to write!
I think I’ve run out of steam and motivation.
In all of this I found that I didn’t get any time to do my creative writing as by the end of the day I’d feel so sleepy all I want to do is sleep! It is the creative writing that keeps me grounded and if I don’t do it, I start to feel stressed. This is what is happening now. Because writing stories is my escape I feel I haven’t managed to escape from reality and reality is catching up to me.
Also, now I have to help another friend with proofreading. It turns out I have too much on my plate and little time to do it in. I only have till 2pm to myself and most of it is taken by everything else except my stuff. Today I felt the pressure I was stuck in choosing what to do and I lost it and ended up having an outburst!
I love to help friends when I can and it seems like I love to keep giving and giving all the time. But why? Why can’t I never refuse once in a while?
In the end I decided I’m going to have a break and over the weekend I’m going to focus on my creative writing instead. The writing that makes me feel good and happy inside.
So if you ever wondered why I come on and vanish every time it’s because I’ve been busy with my friends project. For this I apologize for the on and off appearances that I make.