Sweet Chocolaty Heaven

Two days ago, I did something that I normally wouldn’t do. More like afraid to do and that by myself. I am the type of girl that supports in the kitchen and never takes the lead role as cook.

But on Wednesday morning I took my first step into actually cooking something fresh and not microwaveable/pre-packed food. I baked COOKIES!  I actually gathered the ingredients and baked fresh chocolate orange cookies! 🙂

Before I just used to buy packs from the supermarkets to bake cookies, but they would never turn out right. And I received some motivation from a fellow blogger too, that gave me inspiration to try and make something fresh, and so here we are:

Yep that is the dough I made after an hours worth of procrastinating and thinking about how am I going to make it. I was more worried about the mathematical element to cooking, as me and maths are not very good friends, we have always had problems.  How to get the corrects grams of the ingredients etc.

But eventually I got on with it and found it was actually quite easy to make. I obviously found a easy recipe through the internet and it was simple and easy instructions.

And this is what I ended up with:

Instead of using dark chocolate I replaced it with white chocolate. I was in chocolaty heaven.

I only had minimal help from my mother, but I did the bulk of the work and that made me feel proud in myself after so long.

My brother couldn’t stop eating the dough, and it is very hard to please my brother and his food tastes, so I scored another bonus 🙂

Both my mum and brother praised my food cooking, so who knows what else I might decide to make next.

Song of the Day: Wonderful Life – Hurts

Today’s Song of the Day is ‘Wonderful Life’ by an artist called ‘Hurts’.

For me, this is one of my feel good songs. It fills me up with a strange sense of positivity when I am feeling down or negative because of tough situations that can occur in life.

The song itself might not be all positive but the music just makes you want to get up and let yourself go and just feel the beat.

Whenever I hear this track the words that really stick with me are:

“Don’t let go, never give up, it’s such a wonderful life”

These words always bring me back everytime I feel my will fades. Everytime I feel like giving up this basically reminds me to keep on fighting and never give up.

I hope you guy’s also enjoy this song!

Time to say Goodbye

The last couple of days have not been good. In fact they go from bad to worse. Well if you live in the united Kingdom you might have heard about the missing teen, Tia Sharpe. It is tragic as they found the body in the grandmother’s house, today. I really feel sorry for the family as they organised search parties around the area hoping to find her alive. I used to pray that they would find her and she would be back to her family, but it turned out different. My heart goes out to the family. R.I.P Tia Sharpe.

Also yesterday morning received a phone call from India, and the news was not good. And today this morning, found out my grandad passed away. When my mother told me this morning, I hugged her, as she lost her father. I wanted to cry. But then I realised that my mother is strong she did not cry, but I could see the sadness in her eyes. I wanted to cry, but then held it in, I guess that is one of my strong points is that I can hide my tears when I want to. But today I guess I wanted to stay strong for my mother, I didn’t want to make her cry.

The whole morning I spent moping around, but then I noticed that everyone is still moving on with their lives. So I decided to write my story, “Broken Ties” and I managed to do 4 chapters, and I was listening to Epica, Bullet for my Valentine and Delain, and some My Chemical Romance. My brother reckons that I am one of those that needs time on my own but needs to keep herself occupied, I guess he was right. But no matter what, I was still feeling sadness within myself.

A part of me just wanted to run to the one person that made me feel safe, I just wanted to message him so badly, but stopped myself. That one person knew how to put a smile on my face, just by cracking one of his jokes. But I did not want to bring him down, so I stopped myself.

Yesterday I was watching spy kid 4, and it was all about time, losing it and not being able to get it back; and how the timekeeper wanted to go back in time to be with his father, because he had lost that time by getting in the way of a time travel device and got frozen in time. After watching that, I knew something was going to happen.

And what happened this morning? I got the news, that he passed away. A part of me just wished that when I went to India in Feburary I had spent more time with him. I don’t know why, but everytime I am around elders, I stay quiet and my mouth is shut tight like a clam. I just cannot speak in front of elders much.

As you can see a very bad few days.

To top it off, I have work tomorrow morning and I really do not feel like going in, as that place drives me up the wall, it is like going to hell every Saturday morning. Oh well let’s see how behaved I can be tomorrw…

Song of the Day: Stay Forever – Delain

So I was listening to music on my mobile phone on shuffle and this track came up. This track I have a kind of personal connection too. I mean every time I hear it, it reminds me that, that phase is now over and look onto better things.

So today’s song of the day is:

Stay Forever by Delain

When I first heard this song, I was going through a tough phase in trying to forget someone. It had basically summed up the entire situation and the doomed relationship I was trying to save. Which turned out in the end was not worth saving because it was doomed from the start.

Other than that it is just an amazing song and tune! And the guitar from 2:20 onwards in the track is awesome!!

Love is Indestructible & Flashpoint

I bet everyone is confused as to how love is indestructible and how it is related to Flashpoint?

Well continue to read on.

For those of you who do not know of the TV show ‘Flashpoint’ here is a little synopsis of the show. Basically this show is a crime drama which focuses on a tactical team, called the ‘Strategic Response Unit’ (SRU) and they are quite like a SWAT team that steps in when cops cannot handle the situation. This team helps with rescuing hostages, busts gangs, disable bombs and they take on tougher cases. They try to use less lethal options, they try to talk down the subjects that are escalating.

Just to add a little note, this post contains spoilers.

This show has had some very emotional episodes. There were two that really brought tears to my eyes. Now I really do hate crying when watching movies and TV shows, it shows just how emotional I am, but sometimes it is uncontrollable. Now the reason why I love this show is because they contain real life situations and real problems, especially with the SRU team, they all have their issues and problems, which they have to put aside in order to save lives.

The first episode that made me want to cry was about this 16-year-old girl who has a drunken mother and she becomes a target by a gang of local girls that have ties to gangs. The reason she becomes a target is because she filed a report about an attempted rape. While at work the girls show up and they start harassing her, which leads to her accidentally shooting one of the gang members. She is on the run and tries to end her life because she couldn’t take the humiliation anymore. This is where SRU is called in and Jules has the hard task of trying to connect with this 16-year-old and stop her from killing herself.

It was just too sad to watch that at the end I was literally in tears and feeling for this 16-year-old girl. Thank God that my brother did not see me in tears otherwise he would have started laughing at me. Yeah it happened when I watched the movie ‘Armageddon’ and he still teases me about it till this day.

Now here is why I say that love is indestructible, is the second episode that made me cry but, stuck with me for a few days after watching it. Basically this couple have been in a long relationship lasting for 15 years and the woman has an illness that affects her brain. So eventually her brain will shut down and so will ber body. The symptoms that she got in the episode was that she will eventually forget everyone, have slurred speech and have hallucinations. Now she is slowly dying and the guy she is with loves her like mad, that he took her out for dinner (a restaurant that they met) and left without paying, robbed a drug store and gate crashed a wedding party so they could have a last dance at her favourite place.

It also turns out that she wanted him to help her end her life as she didn’t want to live like that, and forget him, she wanted to remember him and the love they had for each other before her brain fully shuts down and she starts forgetting. He agrees. He had stolen enough morphine for 2. He wanted to die with her because he couldn’t live without her, this is a woman he spent 15 years with.  The SRU try to stop this from happening. Eventually the escalated subjects back down and realise they just want to be together, but the kicker is they do get arrested, but the nicest thing was they could spend the last remaining moments together, and they won’t be separated, (obviously thanks to SRU and the awesome Greg Parker).

So from that episode, I realised that love is a very powerful emotion. It can make you feel amazing yet at the same time make you do crazy things for the people you love. After watching that episode, I have never taken anything for granted and made me realise that I should love the people near to me and spend as much time as possible with them. Love doesn’t have to mean relationship between lovers, but love for family and friends also.

One track comes into mind, for both that episode and this brilliant show, and it is a track by ‘Skillet’…what is up with me, I’m liking a lot of ‘Skillet’ these days, well anyway the track is ‘A little more’.

Alien veins and birthday dinner!

Today was a bit bizarre. This morning I had a blood test appointment, as something appeared up on my previous test that might have been a glitch. So I went there, sat around waiting for 10 minutes, and I saw this most cute looking baby, and she was very happy one too. She was trying to talk and I couldn’t help but smile as it was really adorable.

After 10 minutes I get called in by the nurse, and she starts to hunt for a vein she can take blood from. Nothing appeared on my left arm, so she tried the right and she thought she found it, instead she made me bleed! No vein. So then she goes back to the other arm and starts to hunt for another vein, she finds one, but still nothing comes out. By the end of it, she gives up, patches both my arms and tells me to go to the local hospital that know how to find ‘stubborn’ veins as they do it everyday.

Although we did have a decent conversation during her attempt to take my blood, but what a complete waste of time, it was half an hour of my life I couldn’t get back. So now I got to find a day to go to the hospital so they can prick me some more 😦

Sometimes I feel like an alien…

Well anyway, today I did something I normally wouldn’t do, that was to cook dinner. I know how to cook, but just never really attempted until tonight. I wanted to give my mother a really personal gift today as it was her birthday. She wanted a home cooked meal and I said “I’ll do it, I’ll cook.”. I asked her for her guidance, as I wasn’t sure about the spices and herbs that she likes as she likes to have a lot of Indian spices, but she still tried to cook it for me. Eventually I told her, you can stand and watch and tell me, but you are not cooking.

I was getting this kind of feeling that maybe it wouldn’t turn out nice, I always self doubt myself when it comes to cooking, as usual whatever I cook comes out burnt or absolutely horrible. To my surprise, both members of my family were satisfied and asked for a second plate, me included. Even though they praised me for my cooking, I didn’t feel proud…I know strange right…when you do something good you are supposed to feel good about it, right?

The Good Old Days

Earlier I was listening to Avril Lavigne’s album ‘Let Go’…yeah Avril lavigne. I really loved her first two albums as they really rocked! I am one of those who remembers lyrics and likes to sing along…when on my own of course, otherwise you might wonder where the screeching cat is coming from, as I really cannot sing well.

As I was listening to the songs I was surprised, as it all came back to me, the music and the lyrics, and most of all the memories I had when I first heard of Avril Lavigne. The first song I heard that made me love her was ‘Complicated’.

Me and my best friend would walk up the main road, singing Avril’s songs. And we weren’t being quiet either, we were just singing and we were happy and care free.

This was also the time when I thought wearing all black and baggy trousers and gothic t-shirts were amazing…and you know what I still do think it’s amazing, and I still wish I could dress like that. Now it is the skinny jeans, and punk wear for me.

Even though I listened to that album after so many years, it still made me feel carefree, happy and wanting to have fun. I guess that is what Avril Lavigne was all about back then..or maybe that is just what I think…

So here is a question, which song reminds you of a happy moment, where you felt carefree, happy and just wanting to have fun? You don’t have to answer that, if you don’t want to, it is totally up to you 🙂