Yesterday, I sat at my laptop whilst filling out an application form for a voluntary position, and a rather interesting thought had occurred to me, how far have I come since last year?
I realized that I came very far! Let’s just say that 2012 was a bad year. The only good things that happened was my trip to India (there I felt alive, I was loved and didn’t feel alone and generally I was happy and content inside myself), creating this blog (by the way it will be 1 year on 19th June, I believe), and the few outings I had with friends. It was last year I saw the musical ‘War Horse’ on my friends birthday and he invited my mother to come along too. That was the only good stuff that happened.
The rest of the time had been spent feeling down and depressed because of my ex-job, how they treated me and said horrible things to me or behind my back. They stopped being nice to me after they found out that I was dyslexic. They started to assume I was dumb and stupid, they basically stopped my progression in the company.
I have to say that quitting that job was the best move I could have made! I feel happier within myself. The negativity is slowly working its way out of my system, (I mean it is still there, but it is silent, maybe it is waiting for the right time to grip hold of me again), but still I’m not thinking about that anymore.
Right now, I feel that I am ready to embrace the working world once more. Considering my confidence and self-esteem took a big collapse, I’ve decided that it is better to start at a voluntary position, gain the skills of a good worker and boost up my confidence and self-esteem once again.
So yesterday I spent most of my morning filling out the application. The only bits left to do is the references sections and in my employment section think of reasons for leaving my previous employment.
I have no idea what reason to put, I can’t say that I left because they were treating me badly, saying horrible and mean things about me and thinking I’m dumb and stupid because I am dyslexic, can I? So yes, it is something I need to think about. After that I just need to submit it and wish for the best!
One thing I have learned though, to not to mention my small weakness ever again.
I am in a better place, everything is turning back to beautiful colours again. My writing is improving (it is what I feel, only you, my readers can tell me how far I have improved or not :)) and generally I am feeling great! So here is to a good future ahead!
Diary of a Lost Girl 